No One else Comes Close pt2

The good thing about standing in the rain is that no one can tell how hard you are crying.
With his hands on the guard rail of the balcony, Loki had his head down, tears falling from his eyes as rapidly as the rain falling from the clouds.
Damn he missed him, his one and only true friend, and the one and only person who ever held his heart. He eventually calmed himself down and went back inside to change into dry clothes.  He settled himself in his chair and began reading through the books that The Soldier had brought him; he decided to leave The Hound of Baskerville for last.

He found out that most of these mortals books were rather short, only a few hundred pages. It took him no time to finish the few books that The Soldier had given him and soon he was on the book he had saved for last. As Loki read it he noticed something within the first few chapters, Sherlock mentioned "A Scandal" that he had to stop. He knew that was code for "Irene has a room at the Grand". The God shook his head slightly, Sherlock feared Females yet even Loki knew that he loved her, he just didn't understand it.

Loki stayed up until at least 2 am finishing The Hounds Of Baskerville, and in the end it only made him miss The Detective more. As he read, he could see him doing everything exactly as the long-winded writer, Watson, described. He could see him sitting in his chair moodily, examining everything her could see about the client and everything he couldn't. The God ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, would he ever be able to get over him?.

Putting the books back in the bag, he sighed and sat it by the door so that he could return it to the Soldier. He had seen that there were more books about Sherlock and he knew that he had to read them. Even though he knew it wouldn't help him get over the Detective any.

He turned off the lights and lay back on his bed staring at the ceiling deep in thought. His Emerald eyes glazed over with Questions that ran through his head.
'What would he think of what I've done?' Loki thought, 'What would he think of me now that I'm this...monster?'
He turned over on his side and closed his eyes, he didn't want to think about that anymore, he didn't even want to remember what he had done. But he knew that he would never be able to forget, he knew he could never stop, it was his destiny, it is what he was raised for...and there was much worse to come.
---
Loki sat on his bed in 221b, looking at the floor.
"Why must I be the one to carry this burden?" he asked himself quietly, his voice cracked with sorrow. "Why can't it be someone else? Why must I brin-" He stopped hearing someone approaching his room. He quickly dried his eyes and stood with his back to the door, looking out the window. He noticed the heaviness of the steps and knew exactly who it was. Before he could knock, Loki smiled and said "You may Enter, Mrs. Hudson."
The woman opened the door with a shocked look on her face, "You are just like him sometimes, only you don't shoot holes in my wall." She replied with a smile.
The God laughed and nodded at her "For now at least" He replied winking at the older woman.
She shook her head and put down her tray with some tea on it, "I had you on my mind and thought I would bring this up."
"Thank you, that is very kind of you." Loki replied with a sweet smile. "You know, you remind me of my mother."
"Is that so Mr. Laufeyson? Is she burdened by someone putting holes in her walls as well?"
Loki laughed and sat down in the chair nodding, "Actually my Brother does that, he hasn't got the best temperament in the world. But I meant how you act, you are very kind and nurturing and so is she."
The woman smiled and leaned over kissing The God lightly on the forehead, "That is very kind of you Mr. Laufeyson, Now if only you could convince Sherlock of that."

Mid laughter they heard a loud noise coming from upstairs, Mrs. Hudson looked annoyed while Loki looked amused.
"Still trying to suppress the sound of a gunshot..."
"Still not working" Mrs. Hudson said looking up at the ceiling with an annoyed sigh.
Loki took this as a hint and nodded, "After my tea I will go deal with him."
"Thank you, I won't go up there while he's got a gun in his hand, and you should be wary too. I don't want you to get shot."
The God laughed a bit and took a sip of his tea, "I have had much worse, trust me."
---
Another day, another time questioning his existence. Loki spent his time reading this day as well, he found out that there was indeed a library in The Avengers Tower. Though it did not contain much other than things Tony and Bruce were interested in, he imagined Steve had nagged them into getting some books that he knew about back when he was awake. Not that even knew if The Soldier was even literate or not...he figured he must be.

He figured he would start with the Beginning, Study In Scarlet and work his way to Final Bow.
He remembered Sherlock talking about some of these cases, especially the one where he met Watson. Though Loki began realizing, reading through these books, just how much Sherlock liked Watson. Just how close he was to him.
Sherlock's actions changed entirely one John met Ms. Mary Morrison, and Loki had never had the chance to be around them so he never knew. He had felt this sensation before, this stinging in his heart. He felt it when he noticed Stark flirting relentlessly with Steve after being so close with him. He felt it when he thought of Sigyn and the children, yes she was a twit but she was the only one who ever cared about him. He felt it when he thought of his future...of the people he must kill and the destiny he must fulfill. The sting of heartbreak.
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